


darling, you'll be okay

by punknouis



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: :(, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Comforting Luke, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad, Sad Michael, i don't know why i wrote this im s orry, lots of fluff at the end though!!!, so if that kind of stuff is triggering then please don't read this, stay safe kittens, this might be slightly triggering for some people because it talks about anxiety and panic attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-08 07:49:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1932681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punknouis/pseuds/punknouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're not alone when you're with me," Luke said softly, his nose skimming the shell of Michael's ear. "Did you seriously just quote Of Mice and Men?" Michael said with a snort. Luke smiled into Michael's neck and shrugged. "Maybe," he paused, "But I mean it Michael."</p>
            </blockquote>





	darling, you'll be okay

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: as i mentioned in the tags, there are of mentions of anxiety and stuff like that that may trigger some people?? if you are one of those people please don't read this. it's really only a few mentions and it ends super fluffy but i just want you guys to keep yourselves safe. just keep that in mind my angels. xx
> 
> title comes from the song Hold On Till May by Pierce the Veil (a truly beautiful song by the way, seriously recommend it to anyone who hasn't heard it)
> 
> also come talk to me on [tumblr](http://sleepyclemmings.tumblr.com/) :)

* * *

It was one of those days; one of those days where Michael didn’t want to get out of bed. He slept over 10 hours but still felt exhausted. He didn’t have the energy to get up and be productive and he didn’t have the motivation to care either. He didn’t want to speak to anyone; he just wanted to drown out everything. So that’s what he did.

Michael grabbed his phone and plugged it in to the speakers by his bed, turned the volume up as loud as it would go and pressed shuffle, not caring what was playing. He wrapped himself up in his covers and buried his face into his pillows and shut his eyes tight.

His head felt like it was spinning. His thoughts were all over this place and his brain felt like it was in overdrive, every thought speeding by, going a thousand miles per hour.

His chest felt heavy, like someone was sitting on him, crushing his lungs and making it hard to breathe.

It felt like someone was holding his heart in their hand and squeezing it slowly. He didn’t feel empty or hollow (he would know, because he felt that way for a long time), but he felt like ever emotion was overflowing, overwhelming his senses. He was angry and upset and scared and frustrated and everything else in between.

It was like the walls around him were pressing in on him, encasing him in a room full of darkness and trapping him with his emotions.

At one point, he felt such a sensory overload that he felt like he actually couldn’t breathe. He counted backwards from one hundred and focused on taking deep breaths (“In through the nose, out through the mouth,” just like his mum always used to tell him when he had panic attacks when he was younger.)

Michael didn’t even realize he was crying until the tears began to dampen his pillow case and smear messily against his cheeks. And it was like once he realized he was crying he started to cry even harder, his whole body beginning to shake with it. His hands clenched against the sheets as he sobbed, using the pillow to muffle the noise he was making.

He doesn’t know how long he cried or when he fell asleep, but he woke up to someone knocking on the door to his room. Michael hadn’t even opened his eyes but he could feel how swollen they were, which only prompted him to keep them closed.

“Michael?” Luke’s voice was muffled through the door and by Michael’s music, “Where've you been bro?”

Michael threw his head underneath his pillow and ignored him.

Luke knocked again and Michael could just picture him, adjusting his beanie and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, probably biting that stupid lip ring of his. “Mikey,” Luke spoke louder, dragging out the word in a whiney voice, “I’m bored. Don’t ignore me.”

Michael rolled his eyes to himself but continued to ignore him, silently praying that he would give up and leave him alone.

Luke was quiet for a minute or so and Michael lifted his head up from underneath the pillow, thinking he had left. All of the sudden, Luke was banging on Michael’s door and yelling like a wild banshee.

Michael let out a frustrated noise, blowing his cover, and buried his head under his sheets, covering his ears.

“Go away!” He yelled out to Luke.

He hadn’t heard Luke come into his room and when he felt a hand on his leg he practically jumped out of his skin. He thrashed underneath the sheets and threw them aside as he bolted upright in the bed. His eyes immediately burned when he was greeted by the light of his lamp and he shut them again, rubbing them furiously to try and adjust.

When he opened them again Luke was standing at the foot of his bed, with his eyebrows raised suspiciously. “You okay?” he said cautiously, eyeing Michael like he was some wild animal.

“Fuck off Luke,” Michael said before flopping back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn’t surprised when he felt the bed dip next to him. Michael could feel Luke staring at him but he refused to look back at him.

Luke had a knack for getting Michael to open up (which Michael despised but also secretly really loved about him) and Michael knew if he looked at Luke’s face, laced with sincere concern, he would lose it.

“What’s wrong?” Luke said softly after a few minutes, toying with the hem of Michael’s shirt.

Michael just closed his eyes and shook his head. “Just haven’t been feelin’ it mate,” Michael said, his casual choice of words contrasting sharply with the pain in his voice.

“Wanna talk about it?” Luke mumbled as he scooted closer to Michael, slinging his arm over his hip.

Michael took a shaky breath and shook his head, “Not really.”

Luke mumbled out an “Okay,” and nuzzled his head into Michael’s neck, his lips just barely grazing Michael’s skin.

Michael couldn’t stop the storm in his head, but things seemed to become a little clearer now that Luke was there. He felt like things had slowed down enough that he could at least voice his feelings.

“It’s like,” Michael started off slowly, licking his lips as he let himself process and pick his words. “It’s like, I’m really grateful for everything that’s happened to us and stuff but like, I can’t help but think, like, what if it all stops?”

Luke picked his head up to look at Michael and speak, “What do you mean?”

“Like, what if one day people just stop liking us and our career just ends. Like, just stops. Then what?” Michael questions. Luke gives him a puzzled face and hesitates before answering honestly, “I don’t know.”

Michael sits up a bit before continuing, “That’s the thing, like, we don’t know how long this is gunna last, doesn’t that freak you out?” Michael’s voice was rising a bit and his anxiety was coming back, his chest feeling tight again. Luke sat up more as well. “Well yeah,” Luke said, “But Mikey, I don’t think that’s gunna happen anytime soon. Things are going really well for us, just try and focus on that.”

Michael was starting to feel frustrated. He just wanted to Luke to understand, had to make him understand. “Yeah but what if it does stop Luke, then what?” Michael screeched, his hands going up in the air. “What are we gunna do? Just go back home? Go back to our boring lives?” Luke’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water as he struggled to come up with an answer. Michael didn’t give him enough time to find one before he continued rambling.

“Like, what am I gunna do? Ashton’s got the whole teacher thing or radio host or whatever the fuck it is he wants to do. At least he graduated, barely. Calum’s got soccer and stuff like that. You’re fucking, like, the smartest kid I know. You could go to uni and get like, a real proper job, you know? But what am I gunna do?”

Michael hadn’t even realized he had started crying again until Luke reached over and delicately wiped Michael’s cheek with his thumb.

“What am I gunna do Luke? I’m shit at everything. Music is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do and I’m not even that good at it and if the band ever stops you guys are going to go on with your lives and so is everyone else and I’m gunna be alone. I’m gunna be left all alone with nothing and no one and Luke I’m just so fucking scared.”

Luke’s gaze locked with Michael’s and Michael could see how much his words hurt Luke but at least now he knew. It wasn’t the first time Michael had gotten caught up in his own silly fears, over thinking and assuming the worst. He couldn’t help it.

The idea of the future made him anxious and it scared the hell out of him and the fact that he had no idea what every new day was going to bring was terrifying. Michael genuinely didn’t believe that he deserved all of the great things that had happened to him so far and he figured that eventually everyone else would see that too and take it all away.

Michael was sure that Luke thought he was being overdramatic or stupid, but it felt good to put his feelings into words for once. Michael wasn’t even sure if Luke could understand what he was saying because he was speaking so fast and was sniffling and breathing heavily from the crying that it didn’t even sound like English to himself.

Luke wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck and pulled him down into his chest, allowing him to stain his dark shirt with tears and snot. Luke threaded his fingers through Michael’s hair and whispered into his ear to try and calm him down. Michael latched onto Luke’s torso for dear life and continued to cry, his chest heaving.

"You're not alone when you're with me," Luke said softly, his nose skimming the shell of Michael's ear.

"Did you seriously just quote Of Mice and Men?" Michael said with a snort, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. Luke smiled into Michael's neck and shrugged.

"Maybe," he paused, "But I mean it Michael.”

Michael’s body shook with heavy breaths as his tears began to subside. Luke wiped Michael’s eyes again and shifted so they were facing each other on the bed again, lying on their sides. He kept his hand on Michael’s cheek as he continued to speak.

“I’m not going anywhere. Neither are the other boys. You’re stuck with us.” Luke said seriously, and Michael gave him a small smile.

Luke leaned in and rubbed his nose along Michael’s. “Especially me,” Luke said, smiling himself now, "I love you a lot, okay?"

Michael’s small smile grew into a big one as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Luke’s lips. He was beginning to think that Luke was an angel (he certainly looked like one)

Luke kept him grounded, always brought him back down to earth when he began to lose himself to his thoughts and his fears. Luke had always been the best at calming Michael down when he was in one of these moods, when he had his panic attacks. Michael wasn't sure what he would've done without him.

“I’m pretty sure I love you,” Michael whispered against Luke’s lips.

“You better,” Luke answered in a teasing tone.

“Mmmm, I definitely do.” Michael said before he kissed Luke again.

They laid together for what seemed like hours, drifting in and out of sleep but never letting go of each other.

“Everything’s gunna be okay Mikey, I’m never gunna let you go.”

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> literally this was just rambling on my part but i hope you all liked it :) let me know what you think!
> 
> disclaimer: this is completely fictional! i don't know the boys or own them and this is all made up, in no way reflecting their true feelings or character


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